photo via stay positive.
photo via Whitney CPBG.
Lately I've been struggling with contentment and just being a grateful person. I always want more. I want to achieve more, I want to do more. Not necessarily make a ton of money, though that would be nice. I just want recognition. I feel like a big greedy ingrate! Anyway, this realization came to me the other day when an opportunity for the shop was presented to us but it ended up not working out in our favor. Like a little child, I threw a tantrum and was so upset. I wanted to blame Nick (well, I did blame him) for not acting fast enough and missing out on the opportunity. It totally wasn't his fault, but it lead to a big fight which even affected our evening with some good friends. I realized then that I needed a heart check. What does contentment look like in my life? I need to allow myself to enjoy what I've been blessed with and what we've achieved. I don't know what it is in me that feels I need to always be doing more and can never find peace or contentment. Maybe it's some deeper issues with parents, approval, etc. But that's a discussion for another time ;)
Please don't get me wrong - I know we have so much to be thankful for. Our beautiful house that we are now living in and our sweet little shop - we are blessed and give thanks to the Lord daily. But I think this blog community we find ourselves in, when we read all the blogs out there and see all the fabulous things other bloggers are doing - it can be easy to fall into this feeling of "wanting more" and it never being enough. Feelings of comparing. discontentment. jealousy - all these are so so dangerous. Or maybe it's just me ;)
Hope you don't mind me sharing some of these personal things that have been on my mind ... But I am curious to get your thoughts on the subject. Do you struggle with being content? Being thankful? If not, please tell us your secrets! How do you remind yourself to be thankful or keep yourself in check when you start to compare? Thanks for reading today friends.
Please don't get me wrong - I know we have so much to be thankful for. Our beautiful house that we are now living in and our sweet little shop - we are blessed and give thanks to the Lord daily. But I think this blog community we find ourselves in, when we read all the blogs out there and see all the fabulous things other bloggers are doing - it can be easy to fall into this feeling of "wanting more" and it never being enough. Feelings of comparing. discontentment. jealousy - all these are so so dangerous. Or maybe it's just me ;)
Hope you don't mind me sharing some of these personal things that have been on my mind ... But I am curious to get your thoughts on the subject. Do you struggle with being content? Being thankful? If not, please tell us your secrets! How do you remind yourself to be thankful or keep yourself in check when you start to compare? Thanks for reading today friends.
love this post, so true! It's hard to be content, but I'm constantly reminded to be thankful for all my blessings. thanks for this x
ReplyDelete- Jianine
I try to remember that most people don't share all the hard times and disappointments. Most people like to show the world all the wonderful things going on in their life. I have to try to remember that no everyone is always laughing and smiling, not always having great success, and are not always so positive. People have bad days just like me, they just don't show that stuff off. I do always want more, but little things make me happy pretty often so I'm grateful for that.
ReplyDeleteI hope you have a great rest of the week!
SO TRUE Vicki! Yes, I think we all tend to put our best show on, but we all share in hardships, struggles that we just don't show. Thanks for that reminder :)
DeleteYes! Comparison is the thief of joy. So I try to remind myself not to compare so much to others but to myself a few years ago and how much I learned and gained!
ReplyDeleteHave a happy day!
Anni
Hi Anni, Ah, I just remembered I saw that quote on pinterest so I added a photo! Thanks for the reminder, that is so so so so true :)
DeleteThank you so much for posting this! It came at just the right time. Bloggers tend to put the best of their lives out there for the whole world to see, but I see the best and worst in my life daily. When I play the comparison game, I'm holding myself to standards that aren't attainable. I've been praying for God to help me focus on the gifts he's blessed me with and be happy for the gifts he's given others, realizing that everyone has their pitfalls. Thank goodness for grace!
ReplyDeleteI hope you have a wonderful week, Danni. I always feel encouraged when I read your blog :)
Thanks so much for your comment Lauren, I love this, "When I play the comparison game, I'm holding myself to standards that aren't attainable" !! I will be reflecting on this throughout the day. But yes, I agree bloggers put out the best out there there's a whole lot we don't see at the same time. I do it myself! It can start to look like some people have it all together, they have the best and ideal life with no hardships or struggles. But we all have struggles. Thanks for reading friend!
DeleteThose feelings creep in for me sometimes too. Because we are so similar to our blog friends, in taste, preferences and aesthetic, its so much so easier to draw comparisons - and be jealous and envious as a result. I remind myself that those who are getting some success or recognition worked hard for it. It doesn't mean that I can't achieve the same in my own way.
ReplyDeleteVery well said Jennifer. People work hard for their success so I can't expect to get things handed to me just like that. But instead of comparing and allowing myself to be envious, it should motivate me to work hard myself. (in a healthy way of course) Thanks for your comment and reminder!
DeleteThanks for sharing. I always appreciate knowing that others are share in experiences I experience too! I really started noticing my struggle with discontentedness over the past two years. Before that, I wanted stuff, but was oblivious as to how it was affecting my attitudes, etc. My pastor asked during a sermon, "what is stealing your Joy in the Lord?" After making a list of what was taking me off course, I ended up cutting back on my media intake & participation- a big catalyst for my discontent, jealous and envious feelings. I still struggle with wanting stuff and making comparisons, but eliminating sources that put that stuff in front of me hourly has helped cut out a lot of distraction from true Joy.
ReplyDeleteThanks for being open and sharing your struggles with this! I admire you for taking action on the things that were causing you to feel discontent. I've definitely thought about cutting back on the media as well, it's just in our face 24/7! Thanks again for sharing Christin!
DeleteI love this:
Delete"After making a list of what was taking me off course, I ended up cutting back on my media intake & participation- a big catalyst for my discontent, jealous and envious feelings."
Made me think. Thanks for sharing this example.
I thought I was the only one making this. Truthfully, I too is having a problem with contentment, jealousy over people beautiful lifes and problem with relationship with my parents. But you girl, good for you to have your own house. You have your own space. :) I wish I have mine too. To live in my own rules. To raise my kid in my own way.
ReplyDeleteIt's my 1st reading your blog and I just think that your thoughts strike me. Thanks for sharing!
I just did a drawing today about not having to do everything by yourself. I think this is part of the picture too. And yes, we all want to be valued for our talents. God is the only one (and maybe our parents) who values us for just being us. You are not alone-we all struggle. Otherwise I doubt too many people would be blogging :)Jana @ 333 Days of Hand Lettering
ReplyDeleteI defiantly struggle with contentment. It can be a beast when not kept in check! It helps to write down something you’re grateful for everyday- and see how it builds. It can be hard take a time-out and appreciate what you have been given in this busy world. I find saying prayers with my son at night is usually a good wake-up call too. He is so happy for the little things, bubbles, for example, haha. Taking a step back and realizing no one really has it all. (Or you can always have a good cry, pick yourself up and move on!)
ReplyDeletehow very brave of you to share this with us all. isn't funny how something that we all struggle with can be so hard to admit and put out into the world?it's a good thing that you are always striving to do more and to be better and i admire you for it! sometimes i worry that i'm TOO content with my life and that i lack ambition. i do however struggle with jealously when looking at beautiful blogs. sometimes these blogs that are meant to inspire just fill me with dissatisfaction with my own life. but the fastest way to remind myself of my blessings is to watch/read the news. there is so much that i take for granted (my family, health, a good home, clean water, etc.) that the news reminds me to be grateful for my blessings and to share them with those that aren't as lucky as i am.
ReplyDeleteI bet so many people feel the exact way! I definitely take things for granted and I think even outside the blogging world the same applies, when you look at friends and see what "they have" you compare yourself and often feel like you don't have a lot, or you're not doing a lot. I definitely need to look at what I have and enjoy it instead of looking for more, or the next thing! Plus for every person you compare yourself to, there's someone comparing themselves to you and wishing they had what you have! What a lovely post this was to read :) Laura x
ReplyDeleteI love both of these! They are so true! I want to print them out for my office cork board. xx. McKenna Lou
ReplyDeletewww.lynnandlou.com
So, I really love this little book (based on a sermon) by Tim Keller called The Freedom of Self Forgetfulness. If you go to his site you can also listen to it. Really, really good.
ReplyDeleteLoved reading this... it's so easy to compare isn't it?? I look at things and ideas, and say to myself, why couldn't I have thought of that? Why couldn't i hv been reaping the rewards?? but then.. i think hold on a minute, God has blessed our life so so much.. He really has.. through so many challenges and new adventures. I have to remember we all have different stories, different lives to live. God has us right where we need to be.. He knows our past, our present, and our future.. I just have to remember to TRUST IN HIM more... hugs xo Loved your post... u are not alone.. we all struggle with this to some degree. xo
ReplyDeletebonitarose
http://bonitarose.com
I struggle with this too sometimes. I have a great friend that seems to have it all together and I was a bit envious of her "perfect" life for awhile. Then we got into a deep conversation about life and I realized just how different her not-so-perfect life had been for so many years. She has risen above her past and chooses every day to focus on the positive and the things she can control. It made me reevaluate my life and work on those things that I could control. Great post!
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing your personal thoughts! I found myself with some health woes recently, and was having some issues with being grateful as well. I've found that making lists of all the things I have to be grateful for daily has really helped me put things in perspective. I've realized that hardly any of the things on the list are material items, which has been extremely eye-opening as well. Sounds like you are very blessed, don't want to take that for granted! :) :)
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteI'm never content, I think. It's a real issue, but one I've not been able to get over. Some things I have found that help me are being more grateful for what I do have currently, helping out others who have less than I do, and with regards to the blogging world.. (as much as I hate it!) I had to actually stop reading a lot of blogs.
ReplyDeleteIt's so easy to get competitive with yourself by comparing those around you to what you have, what you're doing, etc. I think it's human nature! At least you realized you were doing it and were able to reign it in, that I think is a good sign you're doing something right. ;)
Also, thanks for using my print in your post! ♥
Perfect timing. Thanks for this honest post. One of my difficulties is sharing blog content that doesn't "radiate" gratitude or positive or something achieved. I end up with huge gaps between posts because of this. Suddenly it seems so in-authentic to only share the good stuff. You've provided an important element to blogging. Being real!
ReplyDeleteI've only been starting to learn how to be thankful - and it's funny because the blogging world really got me into this more peaceful, thankful, positive way of thinking, though you just said it makes comparison much easier! I think my number one way to stop comparing myself to others is my intelligence. Not wanting to brag, but I'm gifted and even though it brought many struggles in my life, I'm very glad I was born with such a crazy brain. I learn languages very easily and I am extremely sensitive to aesthetics. I'm terrible at math and science though - Quite a different kind of gifted ;)
ReplyDeleteAnother way for me to stop comparing myself has to be the fantastic people in my life. My wonderful sisters, my hardworking mother, my loving stepdad and my little stepbrother I'm so proud of; my gorgeous best friends, my supportive group of friends (who really are my sister's uni friends...) and one particularly talented and adorable young man who made my life that bit better. I really think the people you're loved by make the biggest difference because nobody has the same combination of friends. I wish more bloggers wrote about their thoughts and opinions without feeling the need to make it short. Thank you for this :)
Wow, I felt like I was reading my own words in those first few sentences of this post. I DEFINITELY struggle with contentment. You are much more honest than I've been with myself too. After reading this I can admit too that I'm not just looking to be happy with my own accomplishments, I'm also looking for outward recognition! And I'm guilty of blaming my boyfriend when "I don't have enough time" to work on projects, when really its my own issues, self-doubt, and poor time-management skills that are holding me back. This post seems really relevant to me right now. I just read another post on Silly Grrl that suggested starting your day with writing down some amazing things about yourself. I liked that suggestion, and felt that I needed it this month. Very timely posts.
ReplyDeleteIt was so reassuring hearing you describe this struggle...I read your words thinking, "Oh my goodness it's not just me". Thanks for the meaningful reminder about contentment.
ReplyDeleteThanks for this honest post! I love your blog and your store :) I definitely struggle with being content and comparing myself a lot. I am not good at this every time, but I find it helps if I'm genuinely looking to be happy for others and their successes. Or to focus on encouraging them rather than focusing on myself. It is soooooo hard though and I definitely feel like you most days!
ReplyDeleteSorry to hear you’ve been feeling that way – Its all very normal to feel these things..we are only human!
ReplyDeleteI think its easy to compare our blogs to other blogs especially the big successful blogs who have a ton of readers and sales and press! We just never know the ‘real’ journey that person has gone through to get to where they are and sometimes when a blog is so beautiful and the bloggers life seems so picture perfect then I know that it’s a well edited blog ha-ha.
its unfair on ourselves to compare and only causes angst within us.
Im sure a lot of people feel the same about your blog too, that you have it ‘all’ and they are striving for that too! Its important to be true to ourselves, to be true in our hearts and that for me is to be content...
Comparison is definitely the thief of joy, I'm always comparing myself to others and end up feeling so inadequate but I just try to remind myself of the things I should be thankful for, what I have achieved etc.
ReplyDeleteThanks for posting :)
I can definitely relate. I agree pretty much with everything others have said in the comments. When I was reading my bible today after reading your post I had to think of you, and thought I'd share what I've been learning about here.
ReplyDeleteI hope this will encourage you to be thankful, and to remember that ultimately our relationship with God is most important in life, and help focus on that. :)
I'm also reading 'the freedom of self-forgetfulness' at the moment (someone mentioned it above) - so far it's great.
Oh, I SO know what you mean! I have been struggling with it lately as well. But then I have forced myself to stop for a moment and appreciate what I do have. Though it's so hard. Also, conversations with (new) people help. When they ask questions about your past etc then you realize where you have come from and what a journey it has been. And life is actually pretty damn awesome. xx
ReplyDeleteEveryone already said thank you, but I'm going to say it one more time. Impeccable timing. not even a few seconds before i read this i was tell myself how i would get my blog and shop like "everyone else's."its funny how God uses the oddest things some times to wake you up. Thank you again for being personal and vulnerable.
ReplyDeleteMeagan
fliesinapeachcan.blogspot.com
The only time in my life I felt pure contentment was when I married my husband, because I know when it comes to men he's the best of the best. But everything else in my life I'm always hoping, wanting, praying for more. LOVE that first quote. Really powerful!
ReplyDeleteCan I just say that everytime I come to your blog, I am filled with happiness and light...I think it's just the beautiful design aesthetic and all the wonderful things you post. I make a point of only visiting every now and then, so that there's loads of new stuff to go through at once, instead of in snippets. Today, I was feeling particularly down and then decided to come and see your blog and wow - it LIFTED me up.
ReplyDeleteSo I was sad to read that you've had these thoughts. I think the important thing to remember is that we all go through stages of doubting ourselves and being ungrateful. I'm going through this right now, where I'm really confused about my job and life in general. It's so easy to lose perspective. At one point, I'm so content and then I become greedy and want more, forgetting how lucky I am to have a job at all. Something that someone once said to me when I was telling them about this: "We're all convinced that the grass is greener on the other side, never satisfied with what we have. The grass isn't greener on the other side, THE GRASS IS GREENER WHERE YOU WATER IT." So I've tried to take that along with me, and it really helps to stop my mind from dreaming about better things and rather focus on making them better right now, with what I have, working at making the best of my reality in the now.
When I was travelling in India, an old man was talking to me about contentment and enlightenment and he kept on saying that it all starts inside your self, and that you cannot attract love and success without first making peace inside yourself. I'll never forget his broken English saying: "Learn to love yourself, and the whole world will chase you." Loved that.
So I don't want to ramble on - I just wanted to say that you have no reason to want to be better/more recognised etc. I'm sure there are thousands of other readers out there, whose spirits you lift and inspire on a daily basis, just by sharing your beautiful soul. That is a powerful thing, and you have a GIFT in that. As I'm getting older, I'm starting to realise that success goes far beyond material acheivements and lies in the lives you touch and what you leave behind. Think how many leave your blog feeling better about themselves, the world and life in general and know that that is YOUR doing. You are contributing in your own tiny way to bringing a little more sunshine to people could really use some light and warmth. If that's not success, I don't what is!
Thank you for being so lovely. Have a happy weekend!
I can relate with your thoughts! Whenever I find myself in discontentment, I remind myself to just enjoy the journey, and trust that God will unfold his perfect plan in His perfect timing! :) Thanks Danni for your posts, I always enjoy visiting your blog!
ReplyDeleteThis is so true! I'm in a massive job search and there have been times lately, I've just wanted to throw a tantrum, but I can't because I'm an adult and also I'm so blessed. Thank you for sharing!
ReplyDeleteHmm, funny thing is that I've seen a couple of blogs I follow post about this subject...interesting. Anyways, I am also struggling with this. I feel like I'm going through a quarter life crisis as I see my friends doing big and bright things right now. With my current situation, it's hard to not compare myself to them and think "why aren't things working out for me like it is for them? Am I not good enough? Is something wrong with me?" But like one of my fave food bloggers wrote recently, "Instead of looking back and wondering how I could have gone further, I’m going to look back and see how far I've come." To check myself, I have to remind myself that we are not the same person. God has given us all have unique talents and gifts which translate into different lives and successes. I constantly pray to God to help me not compare myself to others, to be thankful for the things he's blessed me with and to help me have faith in His plan for my life.
ReplyDeleteYes, our first world problems can get the better of us. I can totally relate to what you are saying and seeing the responses here, seems like always wanting more is part of human nature. Haha we just can't help it, right?!
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing your thoughts, Danni!
I can totally relate to your post. For the last ten years I have been striving for a change in my career and this year I've finally found something I know I'm going to adore and am actively following my passion, whih makes me feel great. But that doesn't stop the temptation for comparing myself to others, and the worry / discontent that I'm playing catch up; "well they got there first so they must be more successful / happy / content with their lives than me". I fail to look around me a recognise that I have some amazing things in my life and we all have our own paths to take. One thing I always try and remind myself is the theory that others have no impact on whether I can achieve something. If someone else chooses to take on a new project, it has no effect on whether I chose to take on the same challenge or how successful I will be at it, we are all unique and bring individuality to our projects in life. The only thing that will impact or hinder your success is you, not other people.
ReplyDeleteI pray every single day to be grateful for all the blessings in my life. When our son passed away this was exceptionally hard, but it has taught me to not put my happiness on hold EVER.
ReplyDeleteHi Danni....great post. I recently had this discussion with my friend who avoids Instagram because she said that it often makes her feel like she wants more...wants to do more...finds herself racing to keep up with the next bigger and better. I suggested maybe she just follow people with her similar priorities....women who inspire her. As for myself I blog for me...I blog for my family...and my friends. I don't care how many followers or comments....I just do it because it brings me great joy to look back and feel very grateful for my life....for the simple and little things that make me feel happy and content. I love inspirational women and their blogs much like yourself....so coming from a big fan of yours...I say....THANK YOU!!!!
ReplyDeleteHi Danni....great post. I recently had this discussion with my friend who avoids Instagram because she said that it often makes her feel like she wants more...wants to do more...finds herself racing to keep up with the next bigger and better. I suggested maybe she just follow people with her similar priorities....women who inspire her. As for myself I blog for me...I blog for my family...and my friends. I don't care how many followers or comments....I just do it because it brings me great joy to look back and feel very grateful for my life....for the simple and little things that make me feel happy and content. I love inspirational women and their blogs much like yourself....so coming from a big fan of yours...I say....THANK YOU!!!!
ReplyDeleteYou really hit it home with this one. While striving for greater things is what motivates us to succeed, we often fall when we spend too much time dwelling on things that are less than productive. Envy, comparison, lack of appreciation, are the evils that tear us down. Thank you for the reminder to stop and cherish the things that we hold dear. And thank you for putting yourself out there to share this important lesson with us!
ReplyDeleteIt's funny how everything is relative. I look at your beautiful home and shop and say "OH MY I WANT THAT! THAT LOOKS DIVINE!" Meanwhile, over at your proverbial ranch you're looking at someone else thinking that exact same thing. Go figure. It's like this never ending comparison roller coaster that is making everyone barf at the same time. YUCK! To help get me through it most days I ground myself by writing my gratitude list. I share my list on with my blog readers both as a reminder for me and as encouragement for them that it all starts and ends with gratitude...gratitude begets gratitude and prepares the way for miracles! it's the perfect cure for the comparison bug. Give it a try and let me know how it goes ***hugs and hi5s**
ReplyDeletethank you thank you for sharing... it comforts me so much that someone struggles as I do. Comparison is really evil... lol. And I'm grateful how I read this just after I found myself a path out of that evil road. It definitely is a confirmation that it was well intended lesson. I'm sure I'll struggle with this again another time, but at least I know I'm not alone. I hope I get enough courage (as you) to share such personal thoughts through my creative expressions. Thanks again for being such a great example!
ReplyDeletethank you thank you for sharing... it comforts me so much that someone struggles as I do. Comparison is really evil... lol. And I'm grateful how I read this just after I found myself a path out of that evil road. It definitely is a confirmation that it was well intended lesson. I'm sure I'll struggle with this again another time, but at least I know I'm not alone. I hope I get enough courage (as you) to share such personal thoughts through my creative expressions. Thanks again for being such a great example!
ReplyDeletei most definitely struggle with this as well. and i have to say it is often exasperated by blogs. there are times when i feel reading them is doing more harm than good. it is ridiculous to be wanting more when i am so blessed and there are millions in this world with next to nothing. i often find that after breaking a spending fast and buying a new clothing item or two, it just makes me want more and more and i end up for discontent than while i refrained from buying new things & learned to appreciate what i already had. anyway, i could write a novel on this haha. thanks for the honest post!
ReplyDeleteHi Danni,
ReplyDeleteI'm so many weeks late in commenting on this post but just wanted to say I've definitely been feeling the same way these past few days. maybe it's the june gloom, or blame it on pms, or it is truly my heart that needs to be checked. but i came across this song that was such a great reminder to remain grateful:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=da1pC0hlJJA
thanks for sharing!
Trisha
Great post - I almost teared up reading this. So glad to hear that I am not the only one to feel this way. I am a graphic designer for a global corporation and feel so stuck and bored everyday. I read blogs and feel inspired but at the same time I wonder why I can't find a job where I truly LOVE what I do. I keep reminding myself to be grateful and happy with the life I have right now. Its frustrating because I know that I am capable of so much more and that I can do something that makes me truly happy - I just have to make it happen for myself and to stop comparing my life to what others are doing out there.
ReplyDeletethanks for sharing - Gretchen
Great post - I almost teared up reading this. So glad to hear that I am not the only one to feel this way. I am a graphic designer for a global corporation and feel so stuck and bored everyday. I read blogs and feel inspired but at the same time I wonder why I can't find a job where I truly LOVE what I do. I keep reminding myself to be grateful and happy with the life I have right now. Its frustrating because I know that I am capable of so much more and that I can do something that makes me truly happy - I just have to make it happen for myself and to stop comparing my life to what others are doing out there.
ReplyDeletethanks for sharing - Gretchen
Hello Danni,
ReplyDeleteI have been a follower for many years but never commented until this time. I read this post and the first few sentences could have been written by myself. I am always striving for more, not materially or financially (though, as you say, it would be nice), but to achieve and do more and to be a part of something bigger and to have the feeling that I had something to do with it. Part of me thinks "what is so wrong with pushing yourself to do more?" and then the other part of me thinks "I wish I could just be happy with what I have".
I don't really know where this is going. I struggle with it myself so I can't offer any advice or insight. But I like to think that as long as you strive for the right reasons it can't be so bad. It's how we grow and develop I suppose.
Hi Danni,
ReplyDeleteI just joined Blog Lovin' today after reading about it yesterday through another blog. I'm glad I found your blog and I'm glad I found this post. First, you have such an AMAZING eye for design and detail. I especially loved the business cards you created. You are truly in your element. :) Second, I am struggling with this same thing. My blog is pretty new and I am constantly warring with myself to not compare mine to others...and not to doubt that I have something to say that someone somewhere needs to read. I think we all struggle with this, no matter how great situations in our lives are. I think this is part of being human, unfortunately. We get a nice, big house....and then we want a bigger, nicer house. We get a job that pays $50,000 and then we want a job that pays $80,000. I think it's a cycle that we all go through, but it's important to remember that God has greater purposes for us than that. He alone can fulfill us and He alone can open our eyes and hearts to Him. It's not about material things or having worldly success, it's about glorifying Him. Although sometimes we forget that. :
Keep pressing on!
Ami
twoprissiesinapod.com